Friendship continues to inspire me today just as much as it did when I was younger, and I know it shapes everything I write. Mostly because I think it’s that important!
I agree with Melissa that teens today have it so much better when it comes to reading material. I love the fact that they don’t have to read up or read down but can find any book in their age range that fits a need.
YA does dominate the bookshelves. But what I wish teen girls today had are books that encourage real friendships—deep friendships that would never end in a figurative knife in the back.
I have to admit that I’ve always been jealous of the boy friendships depicted in movies and books. Look at The Outsiders.
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“We’re all we have left. We ought to be able to stick together against everything. If we don’t have each other, we don’t have anything.” |
Even though the story doesn’t have a complete happily-ever-after ending, I was so touched and moved by those friendships. And Stand By Me. Same thing. All that fist bumping and having each other’s backs? Jealous once again.
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"I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve." |
Then I realized my jealousy was because there aren’t that many girl movies out there like that. We have Mean Girls. We have Gossip Girl. The Clique. We have a bunch of movies and shows where girls stab each other in the back every other minute while pretending to be the best of friends. Don’t girls get sick of seeing that? Aren’t they better than that? Don’t they deserve the movies where girls see each other through the hard times together?
That idea is what inspires me to write YA books where there are strong friendships among girls.
I remember my grandmother telling me that boys would come and go, but friendships are the relationships that last. And she was so right. I hated when friends would ditch you on the weekend at the last minute because a guy entered the picture. I never did that. I was more likely to ditch the guy if a friend invited me for a sleepover. Because I remembered those words, and I took them to heart.
Girls today have so many possibilities. They’re endless. They live in a world where women can become anything they aspire to be—including President. They live in a world where they can make as much, or even more, than men. Yet despite the advances made for the feminism movement, we’ve still not taught our daughters the true value of friendship. That it’s the one thing that will see them through tough times—through heartbreaks, through family troubles, through basic life issues.
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You take the good, you take the bad…
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Like the Facts of Life. Remember that one? Maybe I’m dating myself here, but I sure do. There was some type of lesson to be learned during the show, and it was clear. It’s not that I expect my daughters or teen girls to get a morality lesson in every show they watch, but, come on! Give them something more! I see bratty girls being catty, talking on their cell phones and acting…well, a bit…let’s face it… bitchy.
Recently, I was talking to a friend who made me feel very sad when she admitted that she thinks these shows are completely realistic—that girls are “just like that.” I wonder how it works. Do girls stab each other in the back and act bitchy because that’s just the way we grow up or are the more popular programs showcasing this kind of behavior and they think it’s the right way for girls to act to each other?
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Walnut Grove’s resident “Mean Girl”
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Back when I watched television shows, Nellie Oleson in Walnut Grove was about the meanest girl you could possibly imagine, and everyone loved to hate her. But the difference back then was that the viewers knew they were supposed to hate her. She was mean! She was snobby! She looked down her nose at Laura’s little house on the prairie. She treated Laura Ingalls like crap! Nowadays, so many characters act in a similar way, and that’s “just the way girls are.” I don’t believe it! And neither should teen girls. Being mean and snobby are NOT good characteristics. And they shouldn’t look up to girls who act like that—whether there’s canned laughter in the background of the show or not. It’s still not funny to be mean—no matter what.
What movies, sitcoms and/or books do you think shows girls in a group of friends where they all have each other’s backs and help each other through difficult times? I remember feeling like this was reflected at the slumber party in Grease—a bunch of girls getting together, bonding over girlie stuff until I realized they were bonding by making fun of Sandy while she was sick in the bathroom after trying desperately to fit in.
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“Look at me, I’m Sandra Dee!”
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I love to write books where there are strong female friendships because I think that’s a major area overlooked in YA. I definitely believe in girl power and true friendships, but girls shouldn't have to search for them. They should just be there.
Besides Ally Carter’s Gallagher Girl Series, can anyone think of books that have a group of girls who are friends that don’t stab each other in the back every other chapter? Or in the case of television, every single show? Where are the positive friendship models?
What was your favorite show, movie or book about girls being stronger together than by themselves? And if you have to think hard to find a couple, what does that say?
What was your favorite show, movie or book about girls being stronger together than by themselves? And if you have to think hard to find a couple, what does that say?
Here’s to girls! Because if we can harness all that emotion, all that love and all that loyalty and give it to our friends…watch out! Because girls really will rule the world. Then the boys can drool. J
"Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces."