Monday, February 27, 2012

The Tale of the Evil Cheerbot and the Meddling Math Teacher

Once upon a time, there was a na├»ve teen girl who mourned the fact that she’d never had a boyfriend. In fact, she began to wonder what was wrong with her that in all her seventeen years she hadn’t been in love. Sadly, when she did find love, the experience was so painful that it left her afraid to give her heart ever again…

My first relationship lasted for all of four months. Rob was a tennis player, tall, athletic and painfully shy. Honestly, I can’t remember how we started dating considering I was quite the introvert in those days. It may have had something to do with me being one of ten spectators at several of his tennis matches, but I can’t be sure. ;-)

In any case, he asked me out and we fell into couple-mode almost immediately. He’d walk me to my classes, write me love notes (no texting or emailing in those days, my dears), go to movies, and make out in his parents’ basement. For those few glorious weeks, I reveled in walking through the halls of the school, holding hands with my guy, my heart blooming with the knowledge that I was no longer alone.

But just when I was becoming comfortable in my newfound romance, tragedy struck.

Unbeknownst to me, my loving boyfriend—along with every other male in the school—had a crush on the head cheerleader, Alisha. What Rob didn’t know was that Alisha and I had a history.

 Sophomore year our lockers were side by side. This was unfortunate due to Alisha’s locker being the designated hang-out for the entire cheerleading squad. I received more than one tardy slip, because despite my polite requests to get to my locker, the cheer-squad refused to acknowledge my existence. Finding Alisha alone one morning, I confronted her about my lack of access to said locker. After she consented to speak to me, she explained that she was not at fault because I was “nothing at our school”. Lovely, aye?

For the next three years, she made snarky comments about my fashion choices, my hair, my friends, and would giggle and point when I walked by. I ignored her. Until she went a step too far.

One afternoon, my geometry teacher (who was also the Tennis coach) pulled me aside and told me he and Alisha were playing a “joke” on Rob. He asked me to keep it to myself, so I wouldn’t spoil the fun. The joke consisted of Alisha writing my boyfriend a love note and slipping it into his locker. Mr. Math Teacher thought it would be a hilarious prank to make Rob think the head cheerleader wanted to go out with him. But we all know why Alisha played along with this little deception—to mess with me.

That's me with the wide, naive smile.

And it worked. After I gave Mr. Math Teacher a piece of my mind, Rob and I had a huge fight. I accused him of wanting to be with Alisha instead of me. He reassured me his crush on Alisha was old news and I was the only girl he wanted…yada, yada, yada. We stayed together a few more weeks and then he dumped me on prom night.

After that stellar experience, I dated a lot of guys, but never got serious with anyone. Not even in college. But then I met the love of my life, my Prince Charming. I smile as I’m typing this, because he didn’t put up with any of my commitment-phobic BS, and for that I’ll be eternally grateful.

Yep, I got my fairytale ending after all.

What about you? Was your first relationship full of hearts and rainbows or evil cheerbots and meddling math teachers?



CareyCorp said...

Great story Lorie. I had neither. But one of my best friends just reminded me of my first crush that turned into an ugly girl fight.I can't wait to tell Honestly YA about that one.

Lorie Langdon said...

Ohhh...That sounds juicy! I can't wait to hear about it. =)

Jo Ramsey said...

Your teacher was involved in pranking a student with a love note?

That crosses a couple boundaries, in my mind...

Lorie Langdon said...

Jo - Yes. I don't think I could get away with writing that into a novel because people would think it was too unrealistic. But that's what really happened.

Jennifer McAndrews said...

Seriously, the tennis coach thought that would be funny? holy crap! we don't have enough issues all on our own during high school, the faculty is eager to add more? Gawd, Lorie, that's just awful. Glad to you got your happily-ever-after - you deserve the best!

Lorie Langdon said...

Awww, thanks Jen! Looking back, I realize I could have gotten that teacher in serious trouble if I would've reported his a**! But I just didn't know I had any rights back then.

Kimberly said...

I, too, have a serious problem with that teacher's involvement. Teenagers have enough issues, and they're learning to deal with everyday life situations...but that teacher made things much worse. Teens should be able to trust adults NOT to get involved. Especially in that way!
But, we live and we learn. We can tell our kids how we learned to handle situations. And--unfortunately--we also have to explain that even grownups make mistakes or don't make good decisions.
Just can't get over that teacher!!!!!
You look mighty happy in that last picture, so it all worked out in the end. :-). Doesn't mean it wasn't painful as hell when it all happened though. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

Melissa Landers said...

Really, Mr. Math Teacher? REALLY? You're a doucher.

And really, Rob? Everyone knows you don't dump your girlfriend on prom night. You give it a three-day courtesy cushion before dropping the bomb.

Sorry you had to deal with all that, Lorie, but you and T look absolutely gorgeous together. Congrats on the happy ending. :-)

Lorie Langdon said...

Kim – Thank you! Maybe part of the reason we go through these hard situations in our youth is to learn from them and be better parents. I hope to teach my boys not to be passive, and to stand up for themselves and others. =)

Melissa – Thanks! T and I are pretty darn happy. :D
I find it really interesting that you’re the first person who’s commented about Rob dumping me on prom night. ;-) I guess the stupid math teacher trumps even that horrible event!

Kimberly said...

I'm awful for not mentioning the Prom Day Dumping. I was thinking about it though. I think the reason people aren't mentioning it is because we kind of expect that stupid behavior from teen's sad to say. However, nobody expects teachers to be involved in that kind of crap.
So, sorry to have been so absolutely heartless. Maybe it's also because we know you as a happy adult. If this had been a recent happening to one of our own daughters, it would have been a whole other kind of commenting. LOL

Lorie Langdon said...

No worries, Kim! :-) I just thought it was interesting that as adults we're all focused on the role the math teacher played. You're right, I was still a teenage girl the prom-dumping would've been more impactful. =)

Lea Nolan said...

Melissa said EXACTLY what I was thinking. Mr. Math Douche deserves to get a beat down. He was probably not-so-secretly in love with Cheerbot, too. Sad :(

And what's even more sad is your prom picture. You look so happy, so unsuspecting that Skinny-Necked Tennis Dork was about to pink slip you.

But no matter, because you look GORGEOUS in that car, riding off into your future with Mr. Handsome!

Lorie Langdon said...

Aww, thanks, Lea! :D And I *love* "Skinny-Necked Tennis Dork"!That's pretty much what I thought when I dug out the prom pic - what a dork, I can't believe I let him have so much power over my life. Geez!
Maybe someday I'll write Mr. Math Douche into a story...could make a good novella.;-)

Renee Pace said...

Mr. Math teacher is evil. What a romantic story. Thanks for sharing. Can't believe the Math teacher really did that. Sick. My romance is the minute I met my now hubby I knew he was the one - at the time I was dating his friend - so yeah, that didn't go so great.

Lorie Langdon said...

Hi Renee,
Sounds like your path to true love had a few bumps along the way. I'd love to hear about it sometime! =)