Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Welcome Wednesday: Christine Fonseca's Take on Lessons from Teen Love

Aw Yes, Teen love. ..

I remember it well. The maddening, sickening, soul-crushing love that seems to only happen in the throes of adolescence. Don't get me wrong, I LOVED falling in love as a teen, despite the heartache that also followed.

It was in my senior year. I met him at club (yes, an underage dance club). And man, could he DANCE. We were from two different schools, two different worlds. And we were in love.

It hit hard and it hit fast for us. It was all-consuming and relentless. Every moment of every day I thought of him, imagining a future together.

We saw each other every weekend, went to the prom, and just "knew" we would spend an eternity together.

And then I went away to college. 3000 miles away. We saw each other whenever I came home, talked for hours on the phone. But it wasn't enough. 

The spring of my freshman year, we broke up. He said it was too hard watching me leave. Too hard having me gone.

I was crushed. 

We found our way back to each other a year later. But that didn't last either. My future had moved on, I had forged a new road. One without him.

I fell in love again a year or so later. It was just as intense. Just as complete. I thought I would marry him. But, like my first love, it proved to be just as temporary.

Eventually I met the man I would later marry, and the love I felt for him - that same maddening, soul-crushing, all-consuming love - would settle into something more permanent. 20+ years permanent.

Now, I look back on my first love, on that type of love in general, with fondness. I write about it in every story, remembering how it felt to feel with such intensity. It's so raw, so intense, so complete. And yet, it is oh so transitory too. I am convinced that such love is not meant to last. But the love that develops in its wake is more, somehow. Better.

If we can only get there...

School psychologist by day, critically acclaimed YA and nonfiction author by night, Christine Fonseca believes that writing is a great way to explore humanity. Her debut YA Gothic series, The Requiem Series, including DIES IRAE and LACRIMOSA, examines the role of redemption, sacrifice and love. Her nonfiction titles include 101 SUCCESS SECRETS FOR GIFTED KIDS and EMOTIONAL INTENSITY IN GIFTED STUDENTS.

When she’s not writing or spending time with her family, she can be sipping too many skinny vanilla lattes at her favorite coffee house or playing around on Facebook and Twitter. Catch her daily thoughts about writing and life on her blog. 


Thanks so much for stopping by, Christine! This post brought back a lot of  intense memories. So what about you, gentle readers? Did you fall hard as a teen and experience the same "maddening, soul-crushing, all-consuming" love Christine is talking about? What happened? Was it happily ever after, or a stepping stone on the way to a bigger and better relationship?

7 comments:

Lorie Langdon said...

Excellent post, Christine! I was a late-bloomer, so I didn't experience that earth-shattering, intense love until college, but I agree with you that it's not meant to last. It's easy to miss that infatuation stage when you've been with someone of 20 years, but as fate would have it, we get to experience it over and over again through our writing. :)
Thanks for sharing your story with us!
Lorie

Christine Fonseca said...

And I LOVE that part of writing YA, don't you?!?

Kimberly said...

Christine,
This is EXACTLY the kind of post I wanted to read. I was hoping that someone else had felt that same soul-crushing, all-consuming love. :-) I felt it several times. More times than I care to admit.
Sometimes I wonder if they were all real. Did I really feel that intense? But, then I realize that even if I can look back as an adult and wonder, then it probably was real. Multiple times.
And I also realized that as long as we don't become bitter and cynical, teen love--heck, even adult love--can teach us a lot about love and life. We learn and grow with each heartbreak. We know went wrong, and what didn't go wrong. I have only positive feelings about every single teen relationship all the way through college. I loved. And I loved madly. I have no regrets. :-)

Melissa Landers said...

Me too, Kim! It's a relief to find others who've fallen in (and out) of love as many times as I have. I'd begun to worry I was a weirdo, and like you, I've also wondered if all of them were real. But you make a great point: if I'm still thinking about those experiences today, then they were probably very, very real.

Lea Nolan said...

Love your post, Christine! Thanks so much for stopping by. I was totally head over heels with my senior-year boyfriend. He was all I thought and talked about. Too bad he really wasn't worth all that crazy energy. But that's a post for another day!

Christine Fonseca said...

I love these replies everyone! THANK YOU! And yes, the romance in my own stories is this kind of crazy, intense, teen love! :D

Jo Ramsey said...

When you're a teen, I think everything's more intense, including love. I fell in love for the first time at sixteen, and the guy's been in and out of my life ever since. I don't regret not ending up with him, but sometimes I do wonder what it would have been like.