Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Welcome Wednesday Guest Post: Terry Spear asks, "What Do You Do When Another “Girl” Wants Your Guy?"


Once Bitten, 1985 - A vampire Countess needs to drink the blood of a virgin in order to keep her eternal beauty. It seems that all is hopeless, until she bumps into Mark Kendall.
“The Countess has a problem. She is a 400 year old vampire who will cease to look young unless she is able to feed on a virgin three times before Halloween, a week away. She sends Sebastian, her servant and all of her lesser vampires out to find one. Finding a virgin is difficult in Los Angeles. Mark has a problem. He wants to 'do it' with Robin in the worst way, but she wants to wait. Jamie and Russ, Mark's goofy friends convince him to go to a Hollywood pick up spot where Mark meets the Countess, on the prowl. Robin's not going to understand.” ~Written by John Vogel <jlvogel@comcast.net>  

I loved this movie where Robin wants to wait to have relations with her first boyfriend, and poor Mark Kendall is dying to give up being a virgin. It shows strength of character on both their parts. Then here comes a vampire with an even bigger problem. She has to have a virgin to feed off so she can remain eternally young. It’s pretty difficult to say no to such an offer. Especially when the woman is willing and her powers of seduction due to her vampiric charms are so persuasive. What can a guy do? But drift away from his true love and give into a false one.
But Robin sees the woman for what she is…an ancient predator that only wants to use her boyfriend and throw him away. Or maybe keep him for her own. But he won’t be his own person ever again.

That’s the thing with teenage love, to learn to trust and respect and compromise. If her values are such that she wants to wait, if he truly loves her, he will respect her and wait.

Have you ever heard of: pick your battles?

When the issues are just not that important: where to eat, what to do on Saturday, who to see…then compromise, or don’t make it an issue.

But if it’s something that is at the core of the person’s belief system, for an instance, he doesn’t drink, either because of religious beliefs or maybe alcoholism in the family, so he doesn’t want to attend parties where there’s a lot of alcohol being served, then it’s time for his needs to be considered.

A lot of times it has to do with motivation. If he or she has a really good cause for feeling the way he or she does, maybe there’s a reason the girlfriend or boyfriend should give weight to their decisions.

Which all goes back to trusting and respecting each other.

If the person doesn’t respect their friend’s concerns when they have a legitimate reason for feeling the way they do, then perhaps the relationship isn’t right for them. In other words, if it’s something that they can’t deal with, she loves to drink with her friends and he abhors the idea, then the differences in their value systems might not be something they can ever overcome.

Mark wants his needs met in the worst way. But Robin wants to wait because it’s really important to her. In the end, if he gives up the ancient vampire sucker and sticks it out with the girlfriend that truly means something to him, their relationship will endure. But what if the only way to save him is to give up her beliefs? Well, that shows true love.

Finding the one that is right for you is the key. No one should feel they have to do what someone else wants in a relationship just to hang onto that relationship. It should be a mutually loving bond filled with trust, respect and compromise (when the compromise is for things that are just too unimportant to make issue with).

Terry Spear/Terry Lee Wilde, The Dark Fae, where the fae rule…  

You can learn more about Terry at her website, or follow her on Facebook and on Twitter. And you can learn about her awesome books on Goodreads.

Thanks so much for visiting with us, Terry. This is such a great post and a wonderful life lesson, too! I know I learned this the hard way myself as a teen.

So what about you, gentle readers? Did you ever comprise on your own beliefs to get or maintain a relationship? As Dr. Phil would say, "How'd that work out for you?"

10 comments:

Jessica Lemmon said...

I remember loving that movie! (is it still worth watching?) And I don't know if I could've looked into it with such depth. Brava! :)

Terry Spear said...

Oh absolutely, Jessica! Yeah, it was a cute movie! :) And thanks!!

PJ Sharon said...

Great topic, Terry. You hit the nail on the head. Healthy relationships are all about respect and compromise. As a teenager, I probably compromised my values way to often to fit in or get someone to like me. It took me many years into adulthood to figure out boundaries and standing up for myself and my beliefs. I'm still learnig to balance when to respect the needs of others and still be true to myself.

Lea Nolan said...

Love this post, Terry, and I love being reminded of an old Jim Carrey movie, too! Ah, compromising yourself for a girlfriend/boyfriend - what teen hasn't done that at least once? The trick is to learn from that mistake quickly and learn to stand up for what you believe in. Thanks so much for visiting with us!

Kimberly said...

Terry,
This is the perfect lesson for every teen to learn! The art of compromising is truly something we all need to learn, but, you're right. You have to compromise on the little things. You can't compromise on values or morals. If you and your boyfriend want to each see different movies, then compromise. If he pulls the whole, "If you loved me, then you would..." line, then stand firm. Until you're ready, too.
Picking your battles is something that follows teens into adulthood, and it's an important lesson. It's called life.

Terry Spear said...

Thanks, PJ Sharon! Yeah, it's hard to do when you want to fit in! A guy pelted me with spit wads when I was in high school and he was one of the popular guys. I was soooo shy. I could have gotten mad. But I remembered what my dad had said. He threw rocks at the girls he liked. LOL Guys can be plain...different. So what did I do?

I turned around and smiled at him. He smiled back and didn't hassle me any more. But he was always nice to me after that.

Sometimes the differences have all to do with just being from different planets. lol!

Terry Spear said...

Thanks so much for having me, Lea! When you said we had to tie it in with movies and such, I couldn't resist this one. But there are tons more I'd love to share! :)

Compromise makes the world go around. Sometimes we just have to say no though!

Kimberly, I so agree!! I think it's wonderful when teens feel strongly about some issue and make a stand, even if it's not all that popular. :)

I remember a friend of mine saying she went out with a wild gang when she was a teen, desperate to "fit in with the popular kids." They went out drinking and driving, and when the kid driving nearly got her killed and abandoned her to die, she realized that she certainly didn't need friends like that!

Was "fitting in" worth it? Absolutely not in her case. But no one wants to get into such a terrible state to learn such a lesson!

Melissa Landers said...

I've never seen this movie. I can't believe I missed it!

Terry Spear said...

It's a fun movie, Melissa. You've got to see it!

Lorie Langdon said...

Terry,
This is so true! Since my momma raised me to be a moralistic girl and I'm naturally stubborn, I was not one to compromise my beliefs for a relationship. But I've seen so many others do this with terrible results. It's like watching two trains heading for a collision and no matter how loud you try to warn them they can't hear you. All you can do is be there to help pick up the pieces when it’s over.
Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing with us!