by Kimberly MacCarron
This topic rocks my socks for so many reasons since I firmly
believe that boys and girls can be the best of friends. I’ve loved the different points of
views already shared on this blog.
Everyone has life experiences that color their perceptions, their memories
and their future relationships. My
experiences with boys always seemed positive when it came to being friends.
Girlfriends are great for reading between the lines and
trying to figure out what somebody is really
saying. Or not saying. The dramas are magnified and the
feelings intensified. Boys-who-are-friends
want to help solve the problem and see things at face value. Both are good, needed.
When I was in high school, I had many friends of both sexes,
and they were all valuable and special to me. Two of my best friends were Billy Samuels and John
Tomlanovich. I’ve known them since
seventh grade when we all started attending a new Christian school, and our
friendship grew throughout those years.
My step-dad was an alcoholic who quit drinking when I was
five, but somehow—for whatever reason—he began drinking again while I was in
high school. I mention this
because a bunch of my friends would often go up to our campground near Seven
Springs to hang out for a fun-filled weekend of swimming and hanging around the
fire ring in the evenings. There
were many times my step-father would get drunk, stumble around and start
telling these friends all about his crappy childhood in great detail.
I was mortified. All the time. As only a teenage girl can be.
My nervous girlfriends and I would escape and find other
things to do, but these two friends-who-were-boys stayed and listened to the
drunken ramblings. Did they stay
because they were interested?
No. They stayed because
they cared about me. And to pull
my step-dad back many times before he fell into the campfire.
A dozen years or so later, Billy and John arrived for my
wedding with their own families.
Billy was the minister who married my husband and me. After a beautiful service and during
the reception, I noticed that my step-dad started drinking even after I begged
him not to. It was the only
stressful part of that special day.
But, apparently I had worried for naught since he remained quiet and
didn’t make any scenes.
Or so I thought.
At the end of the evening, my husband and I said goodnight
to most of our two hundred guests.
It was at this point that I heard some slurred loud comments coming from
the front where people were parked.
Billy and John were with my step-dad, keeping him somewhat hidden from
the guests.
It wasn’t until later when I realized that they had been
gone from the reception for quite a while.
And it made me love them the same as I did in high school. For handling a situation I was
completely unaware of. For
allowing me to enjoy my wedding without knowing that they were taking care of
my drunken step-dad…one last time.
They sat with him for hours, listening to the same stories they’d heard
more than a thousand times during our high school years so that he wouldn’t
talk to the other wedding guests.
That’s why I love boys-who-are-friends. My girlfriends were great for helping me
fix my hair and giggling with me while pinning my torn wedding gown from
jumping in a moonbounce (that’s another story), but it was the boys who solved
the behind-the-scenes problem.
Again.
I’m not sure I ever thanked them sufficiently for allowing
me those blissful hours of being unaware of such an embarrassing situation on
my wedding day.
I’m not regularly in touch with either of them anymore, but
I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if I called them today, they would be
there for me in any way I needed.
And I hope they know I would do the same. I thank them for all the years they kindly listened to my
grandfather talk about his old football days. For driving me around when they had cars and I didn’t. For Billy buying me those cream-filled
oatmeal sandwiches at lunch just about every day. For John taking me to see Heart in concert. I think of them often, and although our
lives have gone in different directions, they remain such a significant part of
my life that I just wanted to say thanks.
Wherever they are.
So, when people ask if boys can be friends, I say yes. They can be the best!
My girlfriends have had their own special places in my life,
but these two friends from years ago will forever have a hold on my heart for
all they’ve been to me. I’ve never
made better friends again. My
memories remain strong, and that hasn’t changed... even through the years. Or across the miles separating us. And certainly not by the idea that boys
and girls can never be “just friends.”
Kimberly MacCarron