Attention Readers: This is a public service announcement. Teens are egocentric. Once the hormones kick in, boys and girls cannot be best friends without mitigating circumstances. Those crazy, uncontrollable feelings are always lurking under the surface. Sexuality and self-worth intermingle with the intimacy of the BFF relationship making it nearly impossible to remain platonic. Someone always develops feelings, someone always gets hurt. Let’s examine the Cross-sex BFF Relationship Equation (which I swear is a real thing that I didn’t just make up):Boy-Girl Teen BBFs = Intimacy + Self-worth + Sexuality =L♥VE
I’m not saying boys and girls can’t be friends. Friends—yes; Best Friends—no way José.
Even when grown, many adults are platonically challenged when it comes to friendship with the opposite sex. As we become less egocentric later in life, and if our sources of self-worth and sexuality are cultivated outside the intimacy of the BFF relationship, platonic cross-sex besties may be achieved.
(Side note: I think that’s why the concept of the gay best friend is so popular, because sexuality is removed from the Cross-Sex BFF Relationship Equation. But even then, one party may be susceptible to thinking they can “turn” the other. Give it up! They’re gay—not a potential vampire.)
Let’s examine some of the better known boy-girl BFF relationships entertainment has to offer:
|Harry||Sally||Definitive chick flick on the implausibility of boy-girl besties. Unequivocally proves the Cross-sex BFF Relationship Equation.|
|Bella||Jacob||Jacob's masochistic "friendship" with Bella sends him into an angst-ridden doom spiral until he fixates on Bella's offspring in a twist creepier than Wuthering Heights second generation redemption.|
|Luke||Leia||Doesn't count - *spoiler alert* they're related.|
|Han||Leia||Never friends. The pent up passion behind their bickering was evident the first time she called him a Scruffy Nerf-Herder.|
|Anakin||Amidala||What the dark side wants, the dark side gets - and the dark side likes the cougars.|
|Jane||Billy||BFF Billy confessed his love for Janie at the end of season one's Jane by Design. Their friendship is so screwed!|
|Velma||Shaggy||Friends - yes; Playing for each other's team - no.|
|Buffy||Xander||Xander's unrequited friendship with buffy drove him into a monogamous relationship with Anya - that's seriously messed up.|
|Buffy||Spike||Speaking of messed up - WTF?!?|
|Keith||Watts||It's not Some Kind of Wonderful for Watts when Keith keeps her in the friend zone.|
|Emma||Knightly||Thou art wise in the ways of friendship and boys, Jane.|
|Zack||Miri||Too bad it takes a porno to make these besties see their platonic arrangement blows.|
|Harry Potter||Hermoine||Okay - I'll grant this one. Smitten with funny guy Ron, Hermione's true blue to H.P. without the secret romantic agenda.|
|Dawson||Joey||Even though Joey didn't end up on the creek w/her BFF Dawson, it wasn't for lack of trying.|
|Katniss||Gale||Not platonic by any district's definition.|
|Andie||Duckie||A second instance of BFFs without romantic undertones. But I always wanted Andie to go for Duckie - he was so much better than Blane!!!|
If you suspect you're suffering from the Cross-sex BFF Relationship Equation, turn off your television immediately and take this quiz:
Your Turn: What are some other examples of Boy-Girl Besties that either confirm of disprove the Cross-sex BFF Relationship Equation?Carey
I will be at the RT Booklovers Convention (April 10-15) with Lea, Lorie, and Melissa.
The Halo Chronicles: The Guardian, a 2010 RWA Golden Heart finalist for best young adult fiction, is available at Amazon Barnes & Noble Smashwords and iTunes. Also available and *free* The Way Life Was Forever; and coming soon Eternal Spring (a YA anthology). Visit www.careycorp.com for more information.