Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Welcome Wednesday: Chloe Jacobs and the Pitfalls of Kissing Your Best Boy Friend


I’m so excited to be a guest on the blog today and want to say thank you to the Honestly YA crew for having me!

I noticed that the discussion has been about boyfriends vs. boys as friends, and it got me thinking about James* (*No last names to protect the innocent). It was Grade 9 so all of us were in a new school and all of us were on the bottom of the social ladder (“Nobody Niners”). James and I had the same classes and hung out with the same people. I don’t remember exactly when or how that happened, since we hadn’t gone to the same elementary school and didn’t live in the same neighbourhood. But by the end of that year he had become one of my very best friends and that didn’t come to an end when school finished. It was the last holiday I spent not having to work through the summer, so we were together constantly (mostly with my little sister and brother dogging my heels). He would show up on his bike after my parents went to work in the morning, and most of the time, he’d still be around when they got back in the evening. It got so that my mom would just automatically plan on making extra food for dinner.

It wasn’t until school started back up in September that things got kind of weird. Up until then we were just two friends who joked around and played video games together, or went to hang out at the Kwik-E-Mart (they had really huge slushies…I always got a blue one). 
But once that second year of high school started, somehow it was different. I think my friend Jenn started it by asking if we were going out. I said no right away. I mean, nobody had ever said anything about “going out” and it’s not like we were MAKING out, but James looked at me like he had a different idea about what this thing between us was—or maybe what he hoped it was going to be.

Of course, as soon as that happened I couldn’t go back to being happy and oblivious. Everything changed. Within a few days we were considered by everyone in school to be a couple. That was a lot of pressure, let me tell you!

Did I regret the change in our relationship dynamic? Well, we were still doing everything together so at first I didn’t really think about it that way…and there was the kissing. I LOVED the kissing. Except…everything felt more dramatic as boyfriend and girlfriend than it had when we were just friends. We argued a lot after that, and I remember crying into my locker countless times. We said and did things to each other that never would have been said or done – or had the same effect – if we’d just been friends, and this lasted pretty much all through high school (with a bit of a break when I started dating his best friend, but that’s another story *wince*). It was like a teeter-totter or a roller coaster. Always going up and crashing back down.

I like that James and I still chat occasionally, but you  know…we NEVER talk about high school.

And yes, this is a photo of my graduating class. I’m the one on the left kneeling by the table with the white shirt on. I’m NOT going to tell you which one is James J

~Chloe Jacobs

Chloe Jacobs is a native of nowhere and everywhere, having jumped around to practically every Province of Canada before finally settling in Ontario where she has now been living for a respectable number of years. Her husband and son are the two best people in the entire world, but they also make her wish she'd at least gotten a female cat. No such luck. And although the day job keeps her busy, she carves out as much time as possible to write. Bringing new characters to life and finding out what makes them tick and how badly she can make them suffer is one of her greatest pleasures, almost better than chocolate and fuzzy pink bunny slippers.

Follow her on Twitter, Facebook and Goodreads and look for her YA fantasy GRETA AND THE GOBLIN KING in November, 2012!

GRETA AND THE GOBLIN KING

While trying to save her brother four years ago, Greta was thrown into the witch’s fire herself, falling through a portal to a dangerous world where humans are the enemy, and every ogre, goblin, and ghoul has a dark side that comes out with the full moon.

To survive, seventeen-year-old Greta has hidden her humanity and taken the job of bounty hunter—and she’s good at what she does. So good, she’s caught the attention of Mylena’s young Goblin King, the darkly enticing Isaac, who invades her dreams and undermines her determination to escape.

But Greta’s not the only one looking to get out of Mylena. The full moon is mere days away, and an ancient evil knows she’s the key to opening the portal. If Greta fails, she and the lost boys of Mylena will die. If she succeeds, no world will be safe from what follows her back…

Available for PreOrder at Barnes and Noble and Amazon
 Thanks so much, Chloe. I LOVE the concept of this book and can't wait to read it! 

So here's where we ask our readers for their opinion: How does going from friends to friends-with-benefits impact a friendship? Does it up the "drama factor"? Do you suddenly find yourself fighting over things you wouldn't even notice if things hadn't "progressed"? Spill your guts! 

16 comments:

Melissa Landers said...

Thanks for visiting, Chloe. Sorry to say I can't answer your question, though. I've never gone from "just friends" to "friends with benefits." Maybe part of me knew better.

Congrats on your new book!

Chloe Jacobs said...

Ah, you were smart!!!

Arla said...

Ooooh, dear. This is a subject I am too familiar with. I had a best friend in jr. high and then into high school who was male. His name is Steve. Steve was the most calm and rational teenager ever. He let me know our Sophmore year that he was interested in making our relationship a romantic one. I was not attracted to Steve in that sense and I held him off with the logic that it would destroy our friendship. He tried to change my mind for the better part of a year before I FINALLY gave in, JUST to shut him up. Our boyfriend/girlfriend relationship lasted 3 months and it was like kissing my brother EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Needless to say, it ruined my feelings for him and got to the point where every time I saw him in the halls, I quickly ducked into a classroom or took a detour before he could see me. Soon after, his family moved 3 hrs away and our relationship was only a sliver of what it had been. He always remained devoted to me, even from afar. My senior year, I asked him if he'd come down and be my prom date....he made the 3 hour drive and we ended up making out. Still nothing. He went through a divorce this past year and I was consoling him 4 states away. Today, thanks to fb, we are as close as ever. He has never held my actions against me - I was a pretty big 'B' to him - and he remains one of my best friends to this day. (sorry for the novel - I actually left a lot out) :) So, I'd say FWB can destroy a friendship, but as people mature with age, it can be reclaimed.

Lorie Langdon said...

Thanks for visiting Honestly YA, Chloe!
I had a strict friend-only policy with the boys in my circle. But always hated it when hook-up's occured within our group. It was always awkward after they broke-up--which the always did. But I think if both parties are mature, they can go back to being friends--at least I hope so. :)

Chloe Jacobs said...

Arla, I'm so glad that even after all that you've been able to reclaim your friendship with Steve. He sounds like an amazing guy!

Chloe Jacobs said...

Hi Lorie, oh the drama. Everyone hooking up, then breaking up, then hooking up with their best friend's ex. Cat fights GALORE! :)

Madison Louise said...

I totally get the 'guy friend' thing. People kept asking if my best guy friend and me 'liked' each other. It got old, but it's ok now. lol.

Great post!!

-Maddi

Rachel Harris said...

Awesome post Chloe, and I LOVE that picture!!!!

Hmm, I had a few friends that went to friends with benefits actually, and yeah, things do get serious all of a sudden in weird ways. For most of them, I was able to keep the friendship after...but it certainly added drama!

Chloe Jacobs said...

Thanks Madison!
And I never made the mistake of letting any of my other guy friend relationships go that way again LOL

Melissa West said...

Love this post, Chloe!

I did venture into this during High School. *shakes head to clear the memories* :)

Jennifer McAndrews said...

oh, wonderful post, Chloe - you brought back feelings I'd long forgotten. And yet....seriously? that was your WHOLE graduating class? wow! That is one serious crucible to have to date in. Congratulations on surviving to tell the tale ; )

Chloe Jacobs said...

Oh, Melissa, I feel for you!

Chloe Jacobs said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chloe Jacobs said...

LOL yes, that was my class. But to be fair, we dated a lot among the kids at the public school across the street o.O

Carey_Corp said...

Hi Chloe - I'm late to the party, which is usual for me. :( I absolutely LOVE your book concept and can't wait until it comes out. And the cover is gorgeous!

Thanks for being on Honestly YA.

Chloe Jacobs said...

Thanks do much, Carey!! :)