Monday, June 18, 2012

Got it Bad, Got it Bad, Got it Bad! I'm Hot for Teacher!

Happy Monday, everyone. Melissa here, and man-oh-man, am I excited to kick off our new topic: HOT FOR TEACHER! I think we’re all psyched about this rotation here at Honestly YA. Well, everyone but Jen, who attended an all-girls school staffed by nuns. Sorry, Jen. I’m sure you’ll think of something when it’s your turn to post. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! J

Now on with the show!

In a female-dominated field like education, it’s unusual to come across a male hottie, but this rare bird does exist. And if you’re anything like me, all learning comes to a screeching halt when that fine specimen walks into the room. You suck in your tummy, flash your pearly whites, and flip your hair. Maybe even thrust out those B-cups. Or ink a hidden message onto your eyelids, like this besotted gal:

Source: Indiana Jones Wiki

I think we all know that nobody can compete with the tantalizing Doctor Jones, but ladies, I give you a close second: the subject of my high school crush, guidance counselor extraordinaire, Mr. B! (Whose name I’ve withheld so y’all can’t stalk his fine arse.)

Oh, Mr. B, you smexy beast!

Trust me when I say this yearbook photo does him NO JUSTICE WHATSOEVER. Let me paint you a better picture: thick waves of ebony hair, electric-blue eyes, a delightfully-crooked smile, and most of all…a THICK SCOTTISH BROGUE! Yeah, that’s right, girls. He was Scottish, born and bred!  Maybe you didn’t hear me. MY GUIDANCE COUNCELOR WAS FROM SCOTLAND! Sa-woon!

You’re fanning your cheeks, aren’t you? It’s understandable.

I had a serious case of The Hots for Mr. B. I’m ashamed to tell you how many times I approached my math teacher and said, “Can I go see the counselor?” Sniffle, sniffle. Blink, blink. “I’m having personal problems.”

The sweet-but-gullible old guy would write me a pass, and I’d spend the next forty-five minutes making sh*t up so I could listen to Mr. B talk. Oh, I could listen to that velvet voice all day long and never tire of it.

::dreamy sigh::

Of course, Mr. B and I weren’t meant to be. He had an equally gorgeous Scottish wife, and I was only seventeen. But he certainly made an impact on me, and for that, I thank him!

Now it’s your turn! Who was your Hot-for-Teacher crush?

Melissa Landers is the author of ALIENATED, a seriously foreign exchange coming in 2013 from Disney-Hyperion. You can learn more about Melissa on her website, and she'd love for you to add ALIENATED to your Goodreads bookshelf!


Kimberly said...

I cracked up imagining you making up personal problems to go talk to your hot guidance counselor.
The Scottish brogue would have made me weak in the knees too! Love me my brogue!
I wonder how many girls had crushes on him, and if he knew it...
I have a feeling I'm going to have a rough time on this rotation. We truly didn't have any hot teachers.

Melissa Landers said...

Och! C'mon, lass. Surely ye ken think 'o some young lad that grabbed yer fancy. Maybe in college, aye?

(LOL. My Scots accent is a wee bit rusty.)

CareyCorp said...

You got me at Scottish! I can't think of a single teacher I had a crush on...except maybe Mr. Vogel in the first grade. LOL! You'll hear a bit more about Mr. V next week.

Jessica Lemmon said... *thinks* I recall a rather cute science teacher, and a former football player social studies teacher, but neither of them had quite the pull of your Mr. B.

I love your story though, what great fiction fodder! :)

adeeperlight said...

My first teacher crush was Mr. Philippe in 8th grade! Cute guy, but not sure if I'd call him "HOT". Mr. B looks much better!

Melissa Landers said...

It gets better! I googled him and found a current pic. He's a total silver fox now. Still smexy, 20 years later!

Kimberly said...

Okay, Melissa! Simmer down! Googling and Ogling???
:-) That's hysterical that you looked him up. Is he still teaching?

Melissa Landers said...

No, he never was a teacher. But he still works in the counseling field. I don't want to say too much and compromise his identity. :)

Lorie Langdon said...

LOL! Yes, if I had a teacher/counselor with blue eyes, a sexy crooked smile and a SCOTTISH ACCENT I'd be drooling all over my desk! You lucky girl! ;-)

Y'all will have to wait to hear my "sexy teacher" story in a few weeks when it's my turn up to bat. :D

Fun post, Mel!

Melissa Landers said...

I know, Lorie! Surely I wasn't the only girl making a suspiciously high number of visits to the guidance office!

Jennifer McAndrews said...

I would leave a lengthy comment but it is very difficult to type while simultaneously swooning and fanning my cheeks.

Melissa Landers said...

I'm impressed you were able to manage a sentence, Jenn!

Ginger Calem said...

Ok, have to confess that you had me swooning at:

thick waves of ebony hair, electric-blue eyes …

And then you threw on that Scottish trump card. Oh if only he'd been my guidance councilor. I'd have made up multiple personalities all with a slew of issues!

For me, there was Mr. Med which is short for a really long last name which doesn't matter because all that's important was the view from the back when he'd write on the board. Yeah, I stared at my trig teacher's butt and I'd do it again.

Great post!

Melissa Landers said...

Multiple personalities? Now that's thinking big! :)

Jessica Love said...

Oh man...I work with a couple of REALLY HOT guys. My poor students, they must DIE in those classes. I never had teachers that hot.

Unknown said...

Oh I so wish I could have gone to your school! Turn-my-bones spongy counselor! I didn't have a hot male teacher, but I did have a sexy officer who roamed our halls - Policeman Bill. Jet black hair, crystal blue eyes, an olive complexion that set his pearly whites aglow, and a laugh that made my knees wobble. But here's the twist. Twenty plus years later, and he and his wife are mine & hubby's best friends and Harley riding buddies! His laugh still gets me, and even though age has salt & peppered his hair, he's still gorgeous!

Harley Brooks -

Melissa Landers said...

@Jess: I wish you could post pics!

@Harley: Ooooh, a sexy police officer. When you throw a uniform into the mix, that's a double threat!

Anonymous said...

I truly wasn't hot for any of my teachers . . . but plenty of my friends have been the targets of teenage boy hormones. Just this past year my middle school gal pal had "I want Mrs. M (will leave her full name out of it) to give me a blow job" on the boys bathroom wall. She about died! BTW, Love all the Honestly YA posts--added you guys to my blogroll:)

Melissa Landers said...

Jamie, I might've had a few boys gaze at me back when I taught junior high, but I never discovered anything crude written about me on the bathroom stall. I think I'd die too!

M. Kassel said...

Oh my gosh, LOL. No, really. I actually did just laugh out loud. The caption alone under Mr. B's alluring photo cracked me up. *Sigh." You're right, though. He is pretty dreamy.