So I have a few bad habits...one of which involves sleep (or the lack thereof) whenever I am nervous or excited about something. Seriously. Whenever my family goes on a vacation, I don’t tend to sleep for about two days before the flight. And when I had to turn in my senior thesis on Henry James...I slept for maybe 2 hours over the course of three days. I have no idea how I managed that one.
Okay, yes, I do. It was a dangerous combination of french fries, soda, and Starbucks.
But there are a whole bunch of problems with this system (including the fact that I’d rather not experience a heart attack), so I decided to try going off caffeine.
Today marks day 3 of my caffeine-free pledge and there is nothing easy about this. I want to sit at Starbucks just in case it’s possible to inhale second-hand caffeine. If I were into perfume, eau de cafe would be my downfall right now.
To make matters even more complicated, I’m still too excited/nervous to sleep like a normal human being. There’s something about falling asleep at 5 or 6 in the morning that gives me a whole new perspective on how much it would suck to be a vampire. (Sidenote: I don’t like vampires. Anyone who thinks, “Heeyyy, I bet her blood is tasty” is not someone I want to date. Especially if they are over a century older than me. Just...ick. My only exception for that is Damon Salvatore from The Vampire Diaries and that’s because Ian Supersmolder is super smolder-y.)
So if anyone sees some crazy tweets posted around 5am...that would be why. I do try very hard not to be rant-y as I know through personal experience that sleep-deprivation can seriously effect my sense of humor. Unless all of you are dying for duck related puns, it’s better for me to steer clear of Twitter. At least for a little while, otherwise I might unleash the quaken!
And yes, this is quaking me up.
So to help me make it without coffee, yesterday my roommate invited me to go for a walk with her older brother. Now, I have known the two of them since I was in preschool, so it shouldn’t have come as any surprise that their definition of “walk” is slightly different from mine. If by “slightly” I meant really fricking different from mine.
Unfortunately my bestie knows that I have a tendency to say yes first and then think over what it entails afterwards. If someone asked if I wanted to be a covert CIA operative, I would go right into patriotic mode and say, “Absolutely, ma’am! You can count on me!” and only after I hung up with the CIA would I panic.
I would also probably tweet about the assignment and they would axe me from the program.
It’s just a terrible idea for me to have anything to do with spy-craft.
That’s how I got roped into what I thought would be a ten-mile hike (thankfully it was only six. My roomie/best friend also enjoys messing with me every now and then) up by the Hollywood sign. It did help a little with my serious pre-meeting jitters that I’m not supposed to admit to having over an upcoming thingie I am not allowed to discuss at all.
Okay, I guess I can tell you that it involves sitting in a room with two very classy people while I say things that may change the direction of my writing career.
But, you know...no big deal.
That’s it! I’m going to Starbucks. Maybe if I wink at the baristas while I order a decaf drink they will know what that means...