Monday, January 21, 2013

Bad Habits

by Marni Bates

Hi everyone!

So I have a few bad of which involves sleep (or the lack thereof) whenever I am nervous or excited about something. Seriously. Whenever my family goes on a vacation, I don’t tend to sleep for about two days before the flight. And when I had to turn in my senior thesis on Henry James...I slept for maybe 2 hours over the course of three days. I have no idea how I managed that one.

Okay, yes, I do. It was a dangerous combination of french fries, soda, and Starbucks.

But there are a whole bunch of problems with this system (including the fact that I’d rather not experience a heart attack), so I decided to try going off caffeine.

Today marks day 3 of my caffeine-free pledge and there is nothing easy about this. I want to sit at Starbucks just in case it’s possible to inhale second-hand caffeine. If I were into perfume, eau de cafe would be my downfall right now.

To make matters even more complicated, I’m still too excited/nervous to sleep like a normal human being. There’s something about falling asleep at 5 or 6 in the morning that gives me a whole new perspective on how much it would suck to be a vampire. (Sidenote: I don’t like vampires. Anyone who thinks, “Heeyyy, I bet her blood is tasty” is not someone I want to date. Especially if they are over a century older than me. Just...ick. My only exception for that is Damon Salvatore from The Vampire Diaries and that’s because Ian Supersmolder is super smolder-y.)

So if anyone sees some crazy tweets posted around 5am...that would be why. I do try very hard not to be rant-y as I know through personal experience that sleep-deprivation can seriously effect my sense of humor. Unless all of you are dying for duck related puns, it’s better for me to steer clear of Twitter. At least for a little while, otherwise I might unleash the quaken!

And yes, this is quaking me up.

So to help me make it without coffee, yesterday my roommate invited me to go for a walk with her older brother. Now, I have known the two of them since I was in preschool, so it shouldn’t have come as any surprise that their definition of “walk” is slightly different from mine. If by “slightly” I meant really fricking different from mine.

Unfortunately my bestie knows that I have a tendency to say yes first and then think over what it entails afterwards. If someone asked if I wanted to be a covert CIA operative, I would go right into patriotic mode and say, “Absolutely, ma’am! You can count on me!” and only after I hung up with the CIA would I panic.

I would also probably tweet about the assignment and they would axe me from the program.

It’s just a terrible idea for me to have anything to do with spy-craft.

That’s how I got roped into what I thought would be a ten-mile hike (thankfully it was only six. My roomie/best friend also enjoys messing with me every now and then) up by the Hollywood sign. It did help a little with my serious pre-meeting jitters that I’m not supposed to admit to having over an upcoming thingie I am not allowed to discuss at all.

Okay, I guess I can tell you that it involves sitting in a room with two very classy people while I say things that may change the direction of my writing career.

But, you big deal.

*Flails arms*

That’s it! I’m going to Starbucks. Maybe if I wink at the baristas while I order a decaf drink they will know what that means...

Happy Reading! 



Lorie Langdon said...

Oh Marni, I totally feel for you. I tried to give up caffeine for lent once. I got mega headaches and could barely keep my eyes open. Let's just say lent was cut short for me that year. I don't think Jesus would care if I skipped my morning joe anyway. ;-)
Good luck with your "Big Meeting". We'll be here waiting to celebrate with you!

Marni Bates said...

Thanks Lorie! I am so close to caving, it's not even funny. While I was sitting in Starbucks I became convinced that my friend's backpack was stolen. To the point that I was asking the Starbucks employees about their security camera situation. Turns out it was fine. He had it with him the whole time.
Clearly, caffeine is needed for me to function like a normal, non-paranoid person. I seriously doubt I will make it much longer than you lasted for lent. :D

And I can't wait to fill you all in on the details of my meeting! *Fingers crossed*


Melissa Landers said...

I got hooked on caffeine after the birth of my third child, who had a passionate aversion to sleep. Coffee kept me alive and barely functional enough to care for the first two kids, and by the time kid 3 began sleeping, I was hooked. I've tried to quit a few times, but the sexy siren call of that morning cuppa joe is more than I can resist. So I've resigned myself to it: I am coffee's bitch.

Pintip said...

I, too, have given caffeine up for Lent. Moreover, I once went four years without caffeine. I'm well and truly addicted now, though -- to my 1-2 sodas a day but am thinking about going cold turkey. Keep at it, Marni. Your body can get used to anything, and pretty soon, you won't even miss it. Good luck at your meeting!

Kimberly said...

I was always the girl who couldn't just dive into the pool. I had to dip my toes in. Then sit on the edge and dangle the legs.
You wonder how this relates to coffee, don't you? Well, I would love not to be a slave anymore to coffee, but i don't want coffee to know about the situation yet. So, each morning I decrease the amount in my cup. I'm tricking coffee this way. Today, I was down to about a half a cup. I can't say that I'm not a tad bit cranky though.
I'm hoping to go to a half of a cup every other day sometime in February.
We'll see how it goes.
I wish you all the luck in your escape from coffee's evil clutches.
Welcome to Honestly YA!!!

CareyCorp said...

I LOVE duck puns - they're quackin' hilarious! As someone who is sleep-challenged when stressed or excited, I feel for you! And giving up coffee - wow! You are one brave writer. *hugs* Carey