Monday, March 11, 2013

Everytime I say Goodbye

With a theme like heartbreak, you approach blogging with a bit more trepidation than usual. After all, after this many ~cough~ years on the planet, if you haven't racked up your share of heartbreak, you're really not doing your job.

There is a 1987 song by a British rock band, Simply Red, that I'm reminded of most sharply when I consider heartbreak, perhaps because of what I'd been through in the years leading up to it. I'd lost someone who'd meant the world to me, and I never thought I'd recover. It was the first time I'd ever had to say goodbye, though certainly not the last.

Quite possibly the only moment Mick Hucknall
could be considered hot. But still, a great song.
Ev'ry Time We Say Goodbye 

Ev'ry time we say goodbye I die a little
Ev'ry time we say goodbye I wonder why a little
Why the Gods above me who must be in the know
Think so little of me they allow you to go

When you're near there's such an air of spring about it
I can hear a lark somewhere waiting to sing about it
There's no love song finer
But how strange The change from major to minor
Ev'ry time we say goodbye.

When you're near there's such an air of spring about it
I can hear a lark somewhere waiting to sing about it
There's no love song finer
But how strange The change from major to minor
Ev'ry time we say goodbye.

Question: What about you? Let me know in the comments if YOU have any songs that have helped you through (or seemed to empathize with) your heartbreak.

Because of that insanely tough and unexpected loss, I didn't have many of the normal teen "break-up" experiences that so many of my friends were going through--both in high school and college. I'd sort of already been there, and because of that, I usually ended up being the one who left, vs. the one left behind. It probably made me a little cold during the break-up process, and quite possibly I messed up a few decent relationships because I was too willing to move on vs. work through issues, but at least I didn't hang on for far too long, once I'd decided that the relationship had slipped away.

There's a quote by Dylan Thomas that also applies: After the first death, there is no other. And I've found that to be true. The pain of more contemporary break-ups never lasted as long as that first horrible experience; not that break-ups are ever fun, but they do seem easier to manage. 

However... I'm not quite the hard case that I try to be :) at least not all the time. For whatever reason, saying goodbye is still excruciating for me. Every time I leave my family, in particular, whether I'm visiting for a week or just a few days, that moment in the airport of saying goodbye leaves me an absolute wreck. I have entire routines in place to get through it, but if I'm feeling at all low to begin with, I'm pretty much that girl sitting in the airplane seat with her face turned toward the window and tears running down her face. You'd think I'd never see these people again--but every time, it's just that hard.

So if you're reading this, take a moment to say "I love you" to the ones who matter most to you. We all have to say goodbye eventually, but hopefully not today. :)

And I still miss you, Dad. 

Jennifer McGowan


4 comments:

Melissa Landers said...

Great post, Jenn. I've always been the same way. Saying goodbye to family after a visit left me a wreck for weeks. I'm grateful that I managed to lure them to Ohio, and now my parents, brother, sister, and I all live within a 2-mile radius. :)

Jennifer McGowan said...

Melissa, that must be so much fun to have family so close! I have family in Dayton (albeit briefly--my brother is a rolling stone), Cleveland, and Montana. It's the Montana contingent that really gets to me. :)

Kimberly said...

What a great but yet sad post.
I was always that girl that cried on the last day of school while other kids were flinging their backpacks in the air and screeching with excitement. I always hated saying goodbye to teachers and friends even though most of the time I would see them after the summer. I don't know how military kids function. I would be an absolute mess to say goodbye again and again like that.
I know exactly what you mean when you say, "if you haven't racked up your share of heartbreak, you're really not doing your job." What a great way to put it.
Thanks for the great post!
I wrote last week about my breakup song. It has always been I WILL SURVIVE by Gloria Gaynor.

Lorie Langdon said...

Awesome post, Jenn.
This past week I've experience a different kind of goodbye, after loosing my beloved Grandfather to the big "C". I feel like I can relate to all you're saying and want to make doubly sure to enjoy every moment I have with those I love. :)